A First Foray Into Hadoop Territory

I was peacefully minding my own business on Friday, when suddenly the heavens parted and, lo and behold, the archangel Gabriel, all wings and flaming sword of God, descended unto Earth right in front of me and said, in a voice that sounded like a thousand mating bullfrogs: “Yo, dude: Hadoop. Learn it.” “Uh, sure,” [...]